Decisions and Medical Insurance

I've carried medical insurance previously, but this is the first time in almost 20 years that I've been covered under a group plan, thanks to my husband's medical insurance that is provided through his employer. It's still expensive, but doesn't have an outrageously high deductible. When I was a kid my parents never had medical insurance. With three brothers and myself there was never a broken bone and never a trip to the emergency room that I know of. The message was, be careful and don't get sick. Then, we had childhood ailments that have gone by the wayside: measles, mumps, chickenpox. I think it was a large part of my mother's responsibilities just to nurse us children when we were sick. I really didn't realize how important medical insurance was when I quit my job with benefits to stay home more with my own children when my second was born.

At age 55 I think I'm just beginning to realize the consequences of many of my former actions. Does it really do any good, though? There are often so many factors that come into play in any decision. As I move into a new phase of life I'll be, most likely, making a lot of decisions based on just as much lack of insight and foresight. I think I often don't know if decisions are the choice that leads to a right action. Who is to say whether the career choices I've made up to this point were the "right" ones? Being without work tends to make one question oneself. The best I know to do is to enter decision-making through the door of faith, be truthful, be aware, consult with trusted advisers, pray and meditate on the matter, and decide. When I've done this I can be at peace with the matter.

Fear

Here are a couple of quotes I've seen recently that have reminded me of an insight a colleague shared with me some years ago.

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." ~Yoda from Star Wars

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can." ~Yoda from Star Wars

It's a bit hard to explain the insight, but I can explain the process and remind myself that it works. Whenever confronted by some situation where a person seems to come up against you in anger, ask yourself, "What is the fear?"

This might apply to my own fear or the fear of the other person. When I can identify it, then I can deal with it and take appropriate action (or non-action). Always, my response must be from a position of compassion. When I do this stressful situations often dissipate.

Luck

Here is another story that has helped me detach and not judge the events of my life.

A man owned a beautiful stallion and his neighbors often remarked on how lucky he was to own such a fine horse.

To this he replied, "Maybe, maybe not," and he went about his business.

One day the stallion broke out and ran away. His neighbors came by and remarked on how unlucky he was that he had lost the fine horse.

To this he replied, "Maybe, maybe not," and he went about his business.

A few weeks later the stallion returned leading a small herd of wild mares. The man corralled them and his neighbors came by and remarked on how lucky he was that fate had bestowed upon him such a find herd of horses.

"Maybe, maybe not."

He went about the business of breaking the horses along with his only son. His son was thrown by one of the wild horses while he was breaking it to ride. The fall broke his thigh. Of course, the neighbors expressed their opinions about how unlucky the man was that this series of events had resulted in his son's injury.

"Maybe, maybe not," was the man's only reply and he continued breaking the horses by himself while his son recuperated.

Before his son's broken bone healed, war broke out in the country and when all the able-bodied young men were conscripted to serve in the military the son was passed over by the draft because of his injury. Now, the neighbors came by and said, "You are so lucky your son does not have to serve in this unjust and futile war."

"Maybe, maybe not,"

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The Pathway

Serenity is my desire. Serenity stems from truthfulness. Truthfulness is the foundation of a life of serenity. I walk the pathway of serenity with gratitude and faith. Gratitude brings joy which gives me a spiritual energy I like to call wings. This uplifts me to a holy place. Faith gives me strength, which results in perseverance. I rely on my Creator for the inspiration and guidance that directs both my stillness and my movement.

Compassion manifests itself in the kindness that leads to my service to humanity and truthfulness leads to the awareness that is necessary for my right action. Through this path I come to serenity and I enter into peace. This is the journey of life, which is simply an entering into the center of my being where I experience a stillness that immerses me in the Creative Force.

As I remain in truthfulness my heart unfolds with compassion. I take right action and continue to experience awareness of both my inner and outer being. I respond to my unique life experience with kindness to myself and others, enabled to be of service beyond my capacity as I walk with my gaze fixed on the Creative Source.

Faith keeps me centered and my gratitude increases. I persevere with the strength I am provided by the Provider. I am lifted up and supported. I walk in joy. This is the pathway I am taking to becoming who I am, a loved child of God.

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