Today is the beginning of my 56th year on this earth. It seems my life is in such a state of flux it's not apparent what meaning to attach to this event. (And, the human mind does strive for meaning.) I know I desire balance. I've been through so many changes I suppose it's inevitable I'd still be reeling a bit, so I need to accept that. I fell in love (perhaps more on that incredible experience in another post), got married, moved from my community of over 30 years, sold my house, quit my job, and relocated-not to mention more personal situations too tender to mention here).
I remember as a child spinning about in a grassy, open area, just for the fun of it, then falling onto the ground, giggling and dizzy. When I started to get up, there was sometimes the prolonged moment of feeling nauseated and maybe wishing I hadn't spun quite so long or so fast. I would sink back to the earth and try to enjoy the sensation of dizziness again. Eventually I'd regain a sense of balance and again start to get up and walk. As I walked it was quite unpleasant for a while; I might be able to walk upright, but not without great effort. It was only a short moment after that my balance would return and I could move about normally. Perhaps this memory is a metaphor for me right now. I believe I'm in the getting up and walking stage, but it is with great effort.
image from hubpages.com
