Happy Birthday to Me

Today is the beginning of my 56th year on this earth. It seems my life is in such a state of flux it's not apparent what meaning to attach to this event. (And, the human mind does strive for meaning.) I know I desire balance. I've been through so many changes I suppose it's inevitable I'd still be reeling a bit, so I need to accept that. I fell in love (perhaps more on that incredible experience in another post), got married, moved from my community of over 30 years, sold my house, quit my job, and relocated-not to mention more personal situations too tender to mention here).

I remember as a child spinning about in a grassy, open area, just for the fun of it, then falling onto the ground, giggling and dizzy. When I started to get up, there was sometimes the prolonged moment of feeling nauseated and maybe wishing I hadn't spun quite so long or so fast. I would sink back to the earth and try to enjoy the sensation of dizziness again. Eventually I'd regain a sense of balance and again start to get up and walk. As I walked it was quite unpleasant for a while; I might be able to walk upright, but not without great effort. It was only a short moment after that my balance would return and I could move about normally. Perhaps this memory is a metaphor for me right now. I believe I'm in the getting up and walking stage, but it is with great effort.

image from hubpages.com

Spring

Today is the first day of spring, the March equinox, Naw-Ruz, the beginning of a new year. We're traveling to Muncie to celebrate with old friends. It's a time of the natural balance between the length of daylight and dark. Today I honor renewal.


This music expresses so much, a fitting tribute to the season. Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was truly a blessing to humanity through his music. One cannot help but recall the renditions of former artists, though, and I think this enhances the overall emotional impact of the piece. I can't seem to get this to post as a link, but the address is www.dailymotion.com/video/xeb6n_somewhere-over-the-rainbow.

Happy Valentine's Day

I am so in love!













image from outsider-artists.net

TMI About My Holiday Preparations

The following is an excerpt with some revisions (as in names have been omitted to protect the innocent)from an e-mail I recently sent to a friend who has a great sense of humor.

"I left a note on the kitchen counter telling my husband I want a burn barrel for Christmas (and I think I may get it. I'm excited.)

We are working through some of the holiday issues. I don't celebrate Christmas within my own religion, but I do like some of the special little things that come connected to the season...(like opening the curtains and gazing at the neighbors' twinkling lights or attending a holiday musical evening at one of the local churches where friends attend...or sharing my friend's traditional plate of cookies).

We talked about this before we got married. But, after I sold the 7 ft. artificial Christmas tree that was in his (our) garage and he finally agreed it would be alright to find another home for the tree that had been the one he had given his mom when she was in a nursing home before she passed away (it's still with the designated yard sale items), he started calling me a scrooge. I gladly acquiesced to his ribbing and decorated a bit. Now we have a little table-topper tree as a centerpiece on the dining room table (my daughter had wanted that some years ago and we still have it.) And, I put up this ancient artificial tree (it must have been one of the first ones to come out in the stores) that my husband has dragged around with him in all of his moves all of his adult life. I actually like it because it's not very bushy and there is room to see the ornaments hanging. Hmmm...most of the ornaments went in the yard sale, too! What to do? Well, we still had some lights and a few ornaments, the ones that didn't sell and a couple of especially beautiful ones that I had held back, not knowing if they held any special sentimental value for my husband. In addition, I got out these crocheted potholders that are some kind of family tradition in his "clan" and hung them on the tree.

My daughter said it's the ugliest tree she has ever seen. I think it's beautiful and have been lighting it for morning prayer and meditation time. That's something I'm needing to be more regular with, so the pretty lights are an encouragement to me. (I finally found the music I like to play in the mornings that I had put in a special place where I wouldn't lose it-which, of course, I did-in all the moving about and rearranging.)

We haven't gotten very far in making plans for the holidays,..."

image from http//www.outsider-artists.net