Happy Birthday to Me

Today is the beginning of my 56th year on this earth. It seems my life is in such a state of flux it's not apparent what meaning to attach to this event. (And, the human mind does strive for meaning.) I know I desire balance. I've been through so many changes I suppose it's inevitable I'd still be reeling a bit, so I need to accept that. I fell in love (perhaps more on that incredible experience in another post), got married, moved from my community of over 30 years, sold my house, quit my job, and relocated-not to mention more personal situations too tender to mention here).

I remember as a child spinning about in a grassy, open area, just for the fun of it, then falling onto the ground, giggling and dizzy. When I started to get up, there was sometimes the prolonged moment of feeling nauseated and maybe wishing I hadn't spun quite so long or so fast. I would sink back to the earth and try to enjoy the sensation of dizziness again. Eventually I'd regain a sense of balance and again start to get up and walk. As I walked it was quite unpleasant for a while; I might be able to walk upright, but not without great effort. It was only a short moment after that my balance would return and I could move about normally. Perhaps this memory is a metaphor for me right now. I believe I'm in the getting up and walking stage, but it is with great effort.

image from hubpages.com

Stand By Me

This is a beautiful video: vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip-id=2539741

Oh God, my God!

Another song by "Mana" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujZSP8PsDrk&feature=related...helps me remember the whole universe is a sacred space!

Thy Name is My Healing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkOTwD-N4Fs&feature=related

Decisions and Medical Insurance

I've carried medical insurance previously, but this is the first time in almost 20 years that I've been covered under a group plan, thanks to my husband's medical insurance that is provided through his employer. It's still expensive, but doesn't have an outrageously high deductible. When I was a kid my parents never had medical insurance. With three brothers and myself there was never a broken bone and never a trip to the emergency room that I know of. The message was, be careful and don't get sick. Then, we had childhood ailments that have gone by the wayside: measles, mumps, chickenpox. I think it was a large part of my mother's responsibilities just to nurse us children when we were sick. I really didn't realize how important medical insurance was when I quit my job with benefits to stay home more with my own children when my second was born.

At age 55 I think I'm just beginning to realize the consequences of many of my former actions. Does it really do any good, though? There are often so many factors that come into play in any decision. As I move into a new phase of life I'll be, most likely, making a lot of decisions based on just as much lack of insight and foresight. I think I often don't know if decisions are the choice that leads to a right action. Who is to say whether the career choices I've made up to this point were the "right" ones? Being without work tends to make one question oneself. The best I know to do is to enter decision-making through the door of faith, be truthful, be aware, consult with trusted advisers, pray and meditate on the matter, and decide. When I've done this I can be at peace with the matter.

Uplifting Words

"Ours be the poems of all tongues,
All things of loveliness and worth.
All arts, all ages and all songs,
One life, one beauty on the earth"

~by Kenneth L. Patton

Recently I have become more aware of my passion for enjoying the creative expression of others and for encouraging that expression.

Spring

Today is the first day of spring, the March equinox, Naw-Ruz, the beginning of a new year. We're traveling to Muncie to celebrate with old friends. It's a time of the natural balance between the length of daylight and dark. Today I honor renewal.


This music expresses so much, a fitting tribute to the season. Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was truly a blessing to humanity through his music. One cannot help but recall the renditions of former artists, though, and I think this enhances the overall emotional impact of the piece. I can't seem to get this to post as a link, but the address is www.dailymotion.com/video/xeb6n_somewhere-over-the-rainbow.

A Garden of Delight

Today I finally worked through an issue and let go of a lingering pain. The story is that a certain someone, a significant person in my life, some time ago made a hurtful statement as to the substance of my life. I took it to heart and fed on the anger resulting from the fear that there was an element of truth to the statement. I was energized by the anger, which helped me take some actions I needed to take at the time, but the anger has long ago dissipated and I was left with this sort of wearisome and obstructing billboard in my mind where I had pasted up the words of degradation in bold print. Today I stripped the billboard, tore it down, marked off a garden plot and created an affirmation of my choosing, "My life is a garden of delight."

I already have fertilizer, so it won't be long before I'll be ready to plant.

image from outsider-artists.net

A Marriage of Words and Visuals

Today I committed to a creative process which involves the marriage of two of my loves, words and visuals. I'm not sure what form this will take, but after poking about at the Swope Art Museum when my original place of destination was closed, I gained focus on a creative urge which has been welling up inside.

A Good Day

"It's a good day when: Work is accomplished. Play is learned. Love is felt. Fun is enjoyed."

I got this quote from one of my favorite professors and I don't know if it was original with her or not. I think it's generic enough it doesn't need a by-line. It seems good guidance for staying on track. There is balance here.

From Alice in Wonderland

"There is no use trying, " said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~Lewis Carroll

Facebook List

Last week I made a "gratitude" list on Facebook and posted. I had a few responses. This week I did it again and got some responses again, so I think I'll continue. "Humpday" would probably be a good time to plan to post on a weekly basis. So far, it's been an encouragement to me, so, probably somebody else will benefit as well. I think it'll be interesting in the weeks ahead to see how people respond. Maybe we can spread a little gratitude.

I found some inspiring blogs when I googled "gratitude blog". Maybe I'll be able to connect with some uplifting energies.

Inspiration for Job Hunting

Magnified be Thy Name, O Lord my God! I am the one who hath turned his face towards Thee and hath placed his whole reliance in Thee. I implore Thee by Thy Name whereby the ocean of Thine utterance hath surged and the breezes of Thy knowledge have stirred, to grant that I may be graciously aided to serve Thy Cause and be inspired to remember Thee and praise Thee. Send down then upon me from the heaven of Thy generosity that which will preserve me from anyone but Thee and will profit me in all Thy worlds.

Verily, Thou art the Powerful, the Inaccessible, the Supreme, the Knowing, the Wise.

(Baha'u'llah, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 267-69)

Thank you at bahaimosaic.blogspot.com for words of practical inspiration selected from the Baha'i Writings. Your posting of March 4 presented spiritual guidance concerning a means of livelihood.

Like Poetry

image from outsider-artists.net

The following is a quote about the Fast that I just copied from bahaimosaic.blogspot.com. It is so poetic and speaks to my heart of the healing nature of the Fast. The line breaks are mine.

He chose our hearts
and asked of us
surrender
of the ancient hurts,
the active fears
and failings
with which we wound each other
and mar the splendid unity
we seek in Faith.

Can we find strength
and will
to cancel out
the caustic criticisms,
the long-embroidered slights,
the outraged pride,
the unexplained hostility,
the bitterness
of ingrown loneliness,
the cruel-edged perfection
with which we weigh each other?

These are the heavy weights
which ground our spirits
and our prayers.

National Spiritual Assembly of the Baha'is of the United States, 1950

Let me remember, "He chose our hearts..."