The colors were perfection today! The redbud is in full bloom and the dogwood is nearly there, still hanging onto a tinge of green in the white. The magnolias are beginning to drop their big petals beneath the trees. Forsythia and daffodils abound around here. There is a civic group of some sort that promotes the planting of daffodils, so they are blooming throughout the town, as well as on nearby farmsteads and business grounds. Oh, my God, thank you for that! I think I cannot see that color without feeling its energy throughout my body. Trees are sprouting leaves and dark wild onion shoots rise above the rich, green, uncut clumps of varied grasses. Some fields are covered with a purple flower I don't know and some yards are awash with bluebells. I have enjoyed driving past the landscapes. The violets are more subtle; one must be up close to catch their beauty. The pink buds on our peach tree have opened to full within the past two days and will probably begin to fade by tomorrow evening. Against the backdrop of dark sky the colors seemed especially brilliant.
Add to this visual delight the voices of birds reveling in the season, the smell of air washed with a recent rain and the soft touch of a cool breeze reaching through the warmth. Today the gift of a Hoosier spring enraptured my heart. Today I am reminded the Earth is a sacred place.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
After the Lag
I haven't posted for a long time. So much has happened. Yes, there are new beginnings. I have a new job. I guess I could post about that. One more class is almost under my belt.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Return to Myself
We've recently bought a yearling horse for my daughter and I'm involved in helping her train it. The experiences have brought back memories. I have feelings and hunches I can't put into words, so it's hard to get a grasp on them when I try to communicate or to even think about the training. Then, as I'm working with the horse, I'll get a clear, visual thought, as if I can see myself from outside myself. I think she is bringing me back to nature and to beauty. I have the sense of returning full circle. God, let me be open to this experience and to receive Your blessings.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Finished
The job is finished officially, but there are still tasks which need follow-up. I somehow don't have a sense of completion or accomplishment as I usually would in such a circumstance. I wonder if it is because of the nature of being an independent contractor in this case.
The class I was taking is also finished. I ran into some problems with BlackBoard as I was taking the final exam, but that's all worked out now and all requirements are complete. I ended up with a high percentage score and I learned a lot.
My son is graduating in a few days and we are planning to make the trip to his ceremony.
This post does not seem to be about any of the themes I've chosen for this blog. Yet, I write it anyway.
The class I was taking is also finished. I ran into some problems with BlackBoard as I was taking the final exam, but that's all worked out now and all requirements are complete. I ended up with a high percentage score and I learned a lot.
My son is graduating in a few days and we are planning to make the trip to his ceremony.
This post does not seem to be about any of the themes I've chosen for this blog. Yet, I write it anyway.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Started the Job
Well, I've started the job. I'm not an employee, but an independent contractor with the public school. My official position is Outreach Specialist for the Out of School Youth Program. The work has been intense and the learning curve steep since day one. Another beginning.
I've been hesitant to post or to make much comment on the job. I guess I want some sense that it will be successfully completed before I comment. It's short term, grant funded. I'm drawing on much of my past experience, but am, also, called on to do things I've never done before. Right now I'm doing some simple computer graphics, but it doesn't seem so simple since it's all new to me. I am trying to focus each day on excellence of attitude and bringing no expectations or judgment to my work, just accepting this as an opportunity to serve.
I've been hesitant to post or to make much comment on the job. I guess I want some sense that it will be successfully completed before I comment. It's short term, grant funded. I'm drawing on much of my past experience, but am, also, called on to do things I've never done before. Right now I'm doing some simple computer graphics, but it doesn't seem so simple since it's all new to me. I am trying to focus each day on excellence of attitude and bringing no expectations or judgment to my work, just accepting this as an opportunity to serve.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Tasks Before Me
"Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle."
— Phillips Brooks
I copied this from The Daily Gratitude Blog, one of my links. This is a place I go for inspiration regularly now. I've been saving this quote, thinking I'd possibly post it along with some comment, if and when I knew I had the position I was attempting to independently contract with the public school. Today I started. It's going to be quite a challenge and I do, indeed, need to pray for powers equal to the tasks. I attempt to go into this work, not with excitement and expectations, but with serenity and faith. My energy must come from the playing out of gratitude. I am definitely grateful for this opportunity.
— Phillips Brooks
I copied this from The Daily Gratitude Blog, one of my links. This is a place I go for inspiration regularly now. I've been saving this quote, thinking I'd possibly post it along with some comment, if and when I knew I had the position I was attempting to independently contract with the public school. Today I started. It's going to be quite a challenge and I do, indeed, need to pray for powers equal to the tasks. I attempt to go into this work, not with excitement and expectations, but with serenity and faith. My energy must come from the playing out of gratitude. I am definitely grateful for this opportunity.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Beginnings in Ends
"What we call a beginning is often the end
and to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from."
"We shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time."
~T. S. Eliot
and to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from."
"We shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the first time."
~T. S. Eliot
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me
Today is the beginning of my 56th year on this earth. It seems my life is in such a state of flux it's not apparent what meaning to attach to this event. (And, the human mind does strive for meaning.) I know I desire balance. I've been through so many changes I suppose it's inevitable I'd still be reeling a bit, so I need to accept that. I fell in love (perhaps more on that incredible experience in another post), got married, moved from my community of over 30 years, sold my house, quit my job, and relocated-not to mention more personal situations too tender to mention here).
I remember as a child spinning about in a grassy, open area, just for the fun of it, then falling onto the ground, giggling and dizzy. When I started to get up, there was sometimes the prolonged moment of feeling nauseated and maybe wishing I hadn't spun quite so long or so fast. I would sink back to the earth and try to enjoy the sensation of dizziness again. Eventually I'd regain a sense of balance and again start to get up and walk. As I walked it was quite unpleasant for a while; I might be able to walk upright, but not without great effort. It was only a short moment after that my balance would return and I could move about normally. Perhaps this memory is a metaphor for me right now. I believe I'm in the getting up and walking stage, but it is with great effort.
image from hubpages.com
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Oh God, my God!
Another song by "Mana" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujZSP8PsDrk&feature=related...helps me remember the whole universe is a sacred space!
Decisions and Medical Insurance
I've carried medical insurance previously, but this is the first time in almost 20 years that I've been covered under a group plan, thanks to my husband's medical insurance that is provided through his employer. It's still expensive, but doesn't have an outrageously high deductible. When I was a kid my parents never had medical insurance. With three brothers and myself there was never a broken bone and never a trip to the emergency room that I know of. The message was, be careful and don't get sick. Then, we had childhood ailments that have gone by the wayside: measles, mumps, chickenpox. I think it was a large part of my mother's responsibilities just to nurse us children when we were sick. I really didn't realize how important medical insurance was when I quit my job with benefits to stay home more with my own children when my second was born.
At age 55 I think I'm just beginning to realize the consequences of many of my former actions. Does it really do any good, though? There are often so many factors that come into play in any decision. As I move into a new phase of life I'll be, most likely, making a lot of decisions based on just as much lack of insight and foresight. I think I often don't know if decisions are the choice that leads to a right action. Who is to say whether the career choices I've made up to this point were the "right" ones? Being without work tends to make one question oneself. The best I know to do is to enter decision-making through the door of faith, be truthful, be aware, consult with trusted advisers, pray and meditate on the matter, and decide. When I've done this I can be at peace with the matter.
At age 55 I think I'm just beginning to realize the consequences of many of my former actions. Does it really do any good, though? There are often so many factors that come into play in any decision. As I move into a new phase of life I'll be, most likely, making a lot of decisions based on just as much lack of insight and foresight. I think I often don't know if decisions are the choice that leads to a right action. Who is to say whether the career choices I've made up to this point were the "right" ones? Being without work tends to make one question oneself. The best I know to do is to enter decision-making through the door of faith, be truthful, be aware, consult with trusted advisers, pray and meditate on the matter, and decide. When I've done this I can be at peace with the matter.
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